Thankfulness

I am still trying to figure out this whole “blog” thing. Like – how to link the blogs I love to share with others. And do I have to ask permission to do so? So forgive me if I am sharing something I shouldn’t, and let me know if I should take it down…

ANYWHO, a blog I love led me to this blog. I warn you – the particular story I am posting is very heart-wrenching. But I had to go back through the blog to kind of find out what was going on in this family. And there you have it. One day a mom is talking about the first day of school, the next there is a memorial to her son. She describes in heart breaking details the night they lost their boy, and then in posts after that talks about how they deal with it. http://aninchofgray.blogspot.com/2011/10/bridge-one-terrible-night.html

I read this today – on what would have been her son’s 13th birthday.

There has been an outpouring from all over the world of love and hope for this family.

I’m sure that helps. But I know that a family truly deals with the pain of what has happened alone. In this blog she writes about the things she realizes her son will never do. The normal, every day, ordinary things that kids, teenagers, boys do.

I know this pain from another side of the tracks and reading it put into those words made me thankful, for perhaps the millionth time in the past five and a half years, that it is I who was sick with cancer and not my son. I have had many of these moments. I have seen the kids in the cancer ward, and the mothers holding their hands. I have known some moms who have lost kids. To all different terrible things. And I am thankful every single time that it is me in pain, me who has to think “what if I’m not here for his wedding, or his graduation, or his first child?” It is easier, as moms, to feel the pain, than to watch your child go through it. Worse, to loose a child and have to find a way to continue on through your life.

I am thankful today, after reading this blog, that my son is here with me. He has gotten me through the past 5 years. He has changed my life. And I am reminded to hold onto the times we have together. Life is fleeting and precious.

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