Why don’t you just loose weight?

I am overweight. In fact, I’m probably the heaviest I’ve ever been.

WOW that’s hard to say.

I want to loose weight. I want to feel better and be healthier. I do. I want to be more active and I want to be able/be comfortable to do things I can’t do right now.

I want you to know that if you have a friend who is over weight, telling them to just loose weight is not helpful.

At all.

I have many many health problems that limit my activity. I also have a thyroid condition. This means my body doesn’t metabolize properly. I also have fat genes. I also have a million other excuses.

The point is, it is not as easy as “just loose weight”. When I loose weight I have to govern every single mouth full of food. What type it is, how big it is, calories, carbs, the whole 9 yards. I have to completely change the way I eat. And I have to exercise. I have to exercise a lot more than I used to. They say thyroid patients need 1 hour of exercise a day. You know what? Some days I am in too much pain to do one hour of exercise a day. Or half an hour. I do what I can when I can. I push myself.

Also, saying “but I thought cancer makes you really skinny” doesn’t help. FYI.

Let me give you some tips as to what to do if you have a friend who wants to loose weight and you’d like to help.

1. Don’t tell her about how your mother in law lost weight eating nothing but hard boiled eggs. Very few people can make changes that drastic and if they do, they often gain the weight back pretty quickly.

2. Don’t say “well, if you would just exercise more…”. Chances are, she already feels pretty shitty about not being able to exercise as much as everyone else says she should.

3. Don’t say “I know this great juicer.”  This should not need explanation.

4. Don’t say “have you tried quinoa?” Yes. Yes I have. It tastes like summer old flip flops and it feels worse. If I ate quinoa do you think I would look like this?

5. DO offer to go on walks or bike rides or whatever. Sometimes exercising with someone else is nice. And actually helpful.

6. Don’t ask her to go to dinner or lunch with you. Part of her problem is that she is already social about food. If this is something you already do regularly, suggest a new place that is salad/soup oriented, or maybe a vegan place because it will all taste too bad to actually eat.

7. Don’t complain about how you can’t gain weight. You know what? I’ll trade you any day. Seriously.

8. Don’t complain that she’s cranky when she’s on a diet. REALLY? I’m cranky? Thanks – that helps me a lot. Screw off.


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