Food Issues

Our family has food issues. 

There I said it.

My in-laws eat stuff that is totally different than what I make (of course) and since they have been here for the last year my MIL makes large amounts of Russian food for her husband on her days off and stocks the fridge for him. Actually, that’s not totally true. I made meals several times a week when they first got here, but they stopped eating my food. My husband prefers his mom’s food, but will eat mine just so I don’t complain to him about him NEVER eating my food. I have basically stopped cooking. I try to act like it doesn’t hurt my feelings.

My FIL eats at like 9am and 3pm. In fact, when my MIL makes dinner (on her day off) she makes it at like 3pm. Who eats at 3?

My husband is only home for breakfast most days. My MIL doesn’t eat dinner (or much of anything lately now that she’s on the “egg diet”).

Basically everyone eats what they want, when they want, where they want. We didn’t start out this way. There was a time when we had a lovely dinner together every night – several years ago.

I won’t even start on my food issues – because honestly, I just can’t go there right now.

Then there is my son. He had some feeding issues as a newborn. Then he ate baby food just fine, but never wanted to change over to big boy food. I eventually got him changed over and he ate most things. Then he slowly eliminated foods until we are at this point down to 3 actual meals and everything else is a side. Cheese, crackers, fruit, yogurt, etc. 

We started going to a “feeding clinic” where an OT helps him “learn about food”, and is supposedly going to help us out of this mess.

Our first assignment is to eat family meals together (HA!), eat all food at the table, and stop grazing (I basically feed him when he asks and I believe that is the only reason he is still growing normally – now they want me to change that????) 

So, the only meal of the day we can eat as a whole family is breakfast. We are supposed to make it a social time. (come on, really? that’s half my weight problem – food is social for me) BUT my husband refuses to ask my MIL and FIL to eat with us – so they come if they want…. The rest of the day it is my son and I. I try to make it interesting – but let’s be honest – when you are home with your mom all day long sitting at the table with her isn’t all that exciting… 

I can’t tell you how frustrating this last week has been. I have had to argue and cajole and fight with him to sit with me at the table for every meal/snack. I have had to deny food when he is hungry, then try to convince him to eat when it’s “time” to eat. (honestly, I think kids should be taught to keep that “I’m full” response to foods, instead of loose it like us overweight adults have) AND I am supposed to serve family style. So I put all the food on the table and everyone takes what they want. “I choose what to serve – you choose what to eat.” I have been putting his “preferred” foods on there with whatever I make ~ I am not going to starve him.

With all the arguing about food being in front of him and stinking him out, about having to sit at the table, about having to eat with us, about not eating when he wants… I haven’t even tried to get him to eat anything new. For reals. I’m not really to that step yet, anyways!

Today we had a late breakfast with his dad (day off) and he sat there trying to make our son drink a yogurt smoothie. He smelled it, he touched it, but he wouldn’t try it. (actually touching and smelling are big steps, DAD!) They are sitting there yelling at each other (which is counter productive and not AT ALL what we were told to do) and after all the arguing about food all week, I lost it. I totally lost it. I went upstairs to take a shower, my husband did the dishes because I was so upset and then I talked to him about it – explaining that is the exact opposite of what we WANT to do. FOR THE LOVE OF MAN, you were at the appointment with me!!!

Maybe in the end all this frustration about food will lead to some weight loss for me – I can’t even stand to look at the stuff right now.

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