So this morning I ran an errand, came home, and got my son ready for one of his last days of school.
Well, you have to remember this is ME and my family I am talking about.
So, I went to Walmart to exchange a swim suit for my son. He has water days this week and is supposed to take a squirt bottle and towel and you know – water stuff – and they will be outside playing most of the day. I have several water bottles from last summer and the winter (we paint the snow with food dye and water) however, some of them don’t work well anymore and so I wanted to get a new one. Well, you know, you can’t have a squirt bottle that looks like a gun in the schools now. So I found one in the kid’s section that actually looks like a squirt bottle, but is more fun and shoots farther. AND a regular one in case.
But then I was doubting myself, so I went around the toy section asking parents “do you think this looks like a gun? My son needs a squirty toy for school but it can’t look like a gun (roll my eyes and act like I’m all put out by all these crazy school rules) so does this look like a gun to you or not?” They were nice about it, except the lady that hurried her kid along away from me after hastily answering and giving me a wierd look. (please, you are the one with 50 lbs of cat food, lady!)
On the way home I had this conversation with myself:
“OMG! I can’t believe you acted like that about the toy gun rule! You do live where Columbine happened – what if one of those people were a columbine graduate or grandparent or something?”
“What? That’s just crazy – that school is clear on the other side of town. Besides, it really has gone too far. Boys can’t even wrestle around with each other anymore. Or play ninjas. NINJAS, for heaven’s sake.”
“Are you serious? Just try not to offend people who’s friends may or may not have been hurt in Columbine.”
(I can’t make this stuff up.)
So I get home and my father in law is “showing people America” – meaning he is walking around the yard with his laptop and someone on skype – showing them our yard. Which definitely isn’t the most beautiful yard in America.
OK, compared to my conversation with myself this suddenly doesn’t sound so weird. I guess it’s time to be done now.
**UPDATE: I guess the teacher wasn’t happy with my choice of water bottle. I need y’all’s opinion:
Who thinks this looks like a gun? If ANYTHING it looks like a water hose connector. To me.