I am learning about grieving.
I have had big losses before, but I wasn’t in a place to learn from them. I was too young, or too “not in the moment,” or too “masking my feelings with unhealthy coping skills.”
Today I was able to get some things done. Little things, but things I needed to do. I also got my son and I out of the house for a while. Which we both needed.
It occurred to me as I was sitting in Karate class with my thoughts that part of death is the living people moving forward. Moving on. And it has a lot to teach the living if they let it. Some days moving forward is simply putting one foot in front of the other. Literally moving on.
One day I will be ready to jump back into our real life. One day I will have to. I am thankful that it is our summer break and we didn’t have to come back to ALL of the things we do during the school year. It might have broken me.
For now I am thankful for putting one foot in front of the other. For moving forward little by little. That’s what I could manage today. And that’s ok.