Sometimes when I feel like life is too hard, I go to this blog:
This woman has endured more than I could imagine making it through. And she has shared with the world her and her family’s journey.
I was originally directed here by Momastery – another blog – if you want to read her stuff, just google Momastery – so much good stuff there too.
ANYWAY, last fall I was directed there, and I started going back through posts to try to understand the story. It was then I found the heartbreak.
You see two sweet smiling funny kids on their first day of school – normal mom blogging stuff.
Then you see a memorial to the son.
Then you see the story of what happened to the boy a few weeks later.
You read the story that changed the lives of this family, and those around them, and honestly, anyone who reads the blog. The way she writes what happened that day makes you FEEL like you are there, seeing the pain and panic.
They lost their son in a terrible accident – he was swept away by a storm.
I hurt just thinking of what that could feel like.
Grief is a crazy thing. You go through cycles. For a while you think you are doing pretty well, and then another wave of grief kind of knocks you over and tumbles you about again.
It isn’t fair to compare grief, or pain, or life circumstances. Everyone feels them differently, and some people can’t imagine going through what YOU have gone through.
That being said, every time I feel sorry for myself, or angry with someone else because they have it easier, or like I might crumple from MY personal stressors, I do one of two or three things.
1. I end up having an appointment at the major university hospital in our area. The hospital where the worst cases go, the hospital where the welfare cases go as well. This week I saw a woman going home after some sort of open head surgery. It looked so painful I got nauseated seeing her. Sometimes I see a child burn victim, or a mom pushing her bald “baby” outside in a wheelchair to see the sun after chemo therapy.
2. I go to this blog – this inch of grey blog – and I read what has happened in HER family lately. The heartaches and the inspiration, and I absorb it, and realize I CAN do what I need to do.
3. I take my son and go do something fun with him. He makes me happy. He makes me whole. I am lucky to have him. I cherish our time together. Hearing his laughs makes me feel better again.
Life isn’t about always knowing the answer, or even about always having a smile. It’s about finding the good along your path. It’s about finding the stuff that makes you happy, it’s about finding the stuff that gets you through, it’s about finding the stuff that keeps you out of bed for the day. Some days life is just putting one foot in front of the other, but it helps to get out of your head and to realize that guess what? You don’t have it as bad as others. There are a million people out there who have it worse than you do, and you know what? That’s a good thing for you. Keeps you from wallowing. Keeps you from hurting so much.Lets you move on with your day.