Do you ever get exhausted? Like truly, in your bones and muscles exhausted.

I am exhausted in every way possible today. Physically, emotionally, mentally, “spiritually”, and all other ways exhausted.

I am exhausted from medical problems. I am exhausted from doctors and tests. I am exhausted from pain. I am exhausted from trying. I am exhausted from all I need to do and can’t. I am exhausted from my emotions. I am exhausted from the family I live in/around/with. I am exhausted from melancholia. I am exhausted from wanting desperately to be a good mom and knowing I am failing every day for the past several months.

I am exhausted by politics and anger at the way other people think. I know, not everyone thinks like me or feels the same way I do. But I kind of feel like they “should” about certain things. Even though I know that’s also too much to ask.

I don’t know how to fight the exhaustion anymore. 

What I REALLY need is a day to spend in bed. All day. Not at the hospital getting tests and then in bed in discomfort. Not a day spent knocked out from migraine meds. Not a day that I have to do a whole bunch of stuff but can’t so I feel even more exhausted. I need a day. To myself. To sleep or read or watch Dr. Who in bed all day. With no worries about what else is happening. 

If there is any kindness in this universe, please let this happen.


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